Cold,Nervous,and Defeated

Housing called the other day. I missed the call. They never call unless there is a problem. Considering I had my recertification 2 weeks ago,I assume I screwed up something in the paperwork or the cat is too noisy or my kid’s blow ups are too loud and frequent. So many reasons they can refuse to renew. And my overwhelmed depressed deficient brain is on meltdown. They did not call back. I couldn’t work up nerve to call them. Rent is due so I gotta face that today. I would rather remove my eyeballs with a melon baller,the panic is so bad. When panicked I react rather than respond so I am trying to calm down before facing it.

Normal people would rip the bandage off. They say grow up. I say walk a mile in my shoes. My gut is tied in pretzels. I am dizzy. I am trembling. My gut keeps contorting painfully. My kingdom to never feel this way again.


3 Responses to “Cold,Nervous,and Defeated”

  1. I hear you. I just started Clonodine for my anxiety and I am like a new woman. I take it twice a day. 😊 💕

  2. I am the same. I miss calls then I can’t call back because my brain would rather avoid the calls altogether. But yes, after using medication for a while I don’t get so painfully anxious anymore

    • morgueticiaatoms Says:

      I am medicated,it brings my anxiety down from 20 to a 10. I wish whatever part of my brain causes 24-7 fight or flight could be removed or neutralized. I just want to live life,not dread it.

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