Hell Week Recap

He made it thru Friday but because he missed most of Thurs he has to serve Minday too

My psych appt went well even if I was kept in hellish waiting limbo 20 minutes. She seemed to hear me,said she can see how hard I am trying and that I never give up. Increased Abilify,got to keep Xanax. And I needed it.

Not an hour after that appt,the school called to say my kid attacked another student and got suspended 5 days. We go to kiddie court next month. Then they have this alternative school for keeping up w homework during suspension and 2nd day in my kid was sent home to shower and change clothes.(I KNEW he wore that the day before but he totally gad lit me.) Then the kid went ballistic about them keeping his notebook where they read his suicidal thoughts (still not sure what gave that alt principal cause to invade privacy like that). He was bawling,cusding me,threatening to throw a lamp at me. 2 hours of that andme waiting for a cop to show up about the noise. He eventually calmed doen but it was awgul and scary.

He survived Friday but was fussing about how boring it is being alone in a room alone “locked in” and the other kids were treated better and everyone is out to get him. I will say I did not care for alt prinpl’s condescension. And I got the added bonus of being viewed as inattentive for letting him go there ungroomed. Amazing how they gripe about tje same clothes but don’t offer any solutions on how to get money for more.so he has to go a 6th day.

Friday evening we discovered all 4 car door locked and I have no key. R tried to help but no dice. So stuck at home til spare keys come in then will need rides out there to get them but have no one. Taxis will cost as much as 5 gallons of gas . Dealership is 3.5 miles away and in current physical state I cannot do it.

Saturday we were supposed to go to sis’s for movie night. I explained I had to cancel due to no car. Well,Ben had a cussing spaz out,accusing me of not wanting to go when I really did until his tantrum,then my stomach started churn. They had nephew come get him and they were carving pumpkins,which I really wanted to do. They didn’t offer me a ride. Then I got to thinking that I rewarded the kid for atrocious behavior but if I had had to endure his behavior longer,I feared ky mind would break into shards.

So off he went and The Bad Thoughts startrd. Better off dead. No way to atone. Spineless parent. So wretched not even my family goes out of their wsy to spdnd time with me. Die die die. Like a soundtrack in a loop. The sudden mood shift and bad thoughts had me in dangerous territory. So meladryl and sleep to get through it. Only the neighbors were screamjng til after midnigjt so I had no calm.or peace. I was up at various times and 3 am they were quiey so there is that. Woke at 7:45. Up,dressed,and exhausted by that much. Feeling sslty af cos last weekend we had no cash,no gas,and no internet or functioning phone data so trapped at home. This weekend no car so plans canceled. The universe does not like me.

And that is my week.

I am


6 Responses to “Hell Week Recap”

  1. …it does not sound like a good week. What meds are you taking other than the (if I remember correctly) Lamictal? It sounds like you need to be taking something other than the ‘meladryl’ for you to get a better sleep. Don’t forget, Lamictal can cause “sleep disturbances”.

    • morgueticiaatoms Says:

      Wellbutrin,Abilify,Lamictal,Gabapentin,Xanax…Trazadone if truly desperate but even low dose gives me morning hangover. Hyponotics like Ambien have resulted in some lost time episodes so melatonin/benadryl are the lesser evil. None of them keep me down more than 4 hours,though.

  2. “…said she can see how hard I am trying and that I never give up.” That’s great!
    I’m taking Wellbutrin (150mgs) in the morning, then the Abilify (20mgs), and a low dose of Seroquel (50mgs) every night before bed. I do have a script for Trazadone (50mgs), but I almost never use it, I get brain-fog in the morning as well. If I go a couple of nights without sleep, I’ll take a Zopiclone (5mgs) before bed — it works fantastic, but it has addictive properties when taken long term, so I try to avoid it. I’m also currently weaning myself off Abilify, for something called Trintellix.
    I know we all react somewhat differently to these meds, but aren’t the Abilify, Xanax, and Lamictal all interfering in some way with your sleep? I take the Abilify at night, it helps me sleep, but I’ve started thinking that maybe it’s the reason I’m tired all day. I tried Lamictal / Lamotrigine for a few months and my sleep, which was really bad at the time, somehow got worse.
    Have you tried taking them at different times during the day? Like the Lamictal and Wellbutrin in the morning, then the Abilify / Benadryl / Xanax / Gabapentin at night?

    • morgueticiaatoms Says:

      Trintellix worked ok for me,but too much heightened anxiety and assorted other goodies that are not so good. I wish you luck.
      None of these meds make me groggy,at all. Wellbutrin makes me more awake. The only thing that eases me to sleep is the meladryl,it just doesn’t keep me down long. None of them do. Seroquel once knocked me out 10-12 hours. After having my kid,nada. My chemistry seems to have changed.
      I am hoping that with the fall/winter depression comes the usual lessening of anxiety and panic. That slower pace might help a lot with sleep. As would getting a box spring so my bed isn’t a chair,lol. I have hope.

  3. Hi. I wrote a response, but I think it got caught in your Spam folder.

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